The Kinks

--- No, not the band, the secret (or not) bedroom (or not) stuff ---

By origami-yoyo16, in deviantart

So, a few months back, I - a certified quiz whore - found this test on the net.

Here's the deal: it measures how kinky you are and places you on a spectrum band (red for prudes, ultraviolet for sluts - words used with tremendous affection, trust me). There are about 152 questions asking everything and from various points of view.

Wow. I, for one, didn't know french-kissing would constitute a kink for some.

By jael-kolken, in deviantart

Nor leaving the lights on. But, yeah, these are the mild ones. Brace yourselves if you're taking it.

Myself, I turned out a green, which is in the middle, having quite a few kinks (the worst, probably, being blood sucking)

By jo-chen, in deviantart

but means there are some things I just would not do. For example:

I could never look at Fido or Mittens, you know, that way.

By keyzumi, in deviantart

I'm sure they are lovely...ehm...creatures, but, really, no... No, Spirit the Stallion does not appeal, either. Nor Simba - look, just stop asking, please.

Golden showers and scat-play are a no, as well.

By copycat13, in deviantart

I have OCD. Trauma for life, anyone?

No threesomes.

By ikane, in deviantart

It stands to reason, no orgies, no partner-swapping. I'm an extremely possessive bastard. My partner is mine, MINE, my own, my presiousssss. Noone else gets to touch my partner. Noone who wants to keep their hands/head/cock/tits intact. I carry blades with me at all times - just a warning...*feral growl*

No opening the door naked, no matter who I'm expecting. No posting sex tapes on youporn.

But, yeah, lots and lots and lots (and lots) of cosplay and bonds and razors and food and...you get the idea...

"Oh, my maid", in mangafox

Oh, also, the results come divided in two columns - giving (active) and receiving (passive)... Let's just say, I'm a total seme. Yep, yep, just sit back and relax, my cute little victim. Oh, and bite this gag, love, wouldn't want to wake the neighbours with your screams...*evil purr*

By heise, in deviantart

Go on, take the test. You know you want to. Comment with your results if you will.
Oh, my pet was worried I'd totally give her away. I promise, sweetheart, I'm telling noone you're a red... (She took the test again five minutes ago and told me to edit: she turned out green this time, as well... *sigh* Happy now?)


Note: you can't access some pics if you don't have a deviantart account, they were blocked.