The Kinks

--- No, not the band, the secret (or not) bedroom (or not) stuff ---

By origami-yoyo16, in deviantart

So, a few months back, I - a certified quiz whore - found this test on the net.

Here's the deal: it measures how kinky you are and places you on a spectrum band (red for prudes, ultraviolet for sluts - words used with tremendous affection, trust me). There are about 152 questions asking everything and from various points of view.

Wow. I, for one, didn't know french-kissing would constitute a kink for some.

By jael-kolken, in deviantart

Nor leaving the lights on. But, yeah, these are the mild ones. Brace yourselves if you're taking it.

Myself, I turned out a green, which is in the middle, having quite a few kinks (the worst, probably, being blood sucking)

By jo-chen, in deviantart

but means there are some things I just would not do. For example:

I could never look at Fido or Mittens, you know, that way.

By keyzumi, in deviantart

I'm sure they are lovely...ehm...creatures, but, really, no... No, Spirit the Stallion does not appeal, either. Nor Simba - look, just stop asking, please.

Golden showers and scat-play are a no, as well.

By copycat13, in deviantart

I have OCD. Trauma for life, anyone?

No threesomes.

By ikane, in deviantart

It stands to reason, no orgies, no partner-swapping. I'm an extremely possessive bastard. My partner is mine, MINE, my own, my presiousssss. Noone else gets to touch my partner. Noone who wants to keep their hands/head/cock/tits intact. I carry blades with me at all times - just a warning...*feral growl*

No opening the door naked, no matter who I'm expecting. No posting sex tapes on youporn.

But, yeah, lots and lots and lots (and lots) of cosplay and bonds and razors and food and...you get the idea...

"Oh, my maid", in mangafox

Oh, also, the results come divided in two columns - giving (active) and receiving (passive)... Let's just say, I'm a total seme. Yep, yep, just sit back and relax, my cute little victim. Oh, and bite this gag, love, wouldn't want to wake the neighbours with your screams...*evil purr*

By heise, in deviantart

Go on, take the test. You know you want to. Comment with your results if you will.
Oh, my pet was worried I'd totally give her away. I promise, sweetheart, I'm telling noone you're a red... (She took the test again five minutes ago and told me to edit: she turned out green this time, as well... *sigh* Happy now?)


Note: you can't access some pics if you don't have a deviantart account, they were blocked.

Body talk

---Note: inspired by a recent talk with friends, could also have been called "A love declaration to human body", but that's too long a title...---

My mom and dad never hid their bodies from us.

The bathroom door in our house never locked and was, indeed, often left ajar. It was very, very natural for all four of us to be in the bathroom at once - one taking a shower (without a curtain, mum had watched Psycho, so shower curtains were a no-no), one peeing or pooing or whatever and the other two just hanging out and talking.

My brother and I, we always shared a bedroom. We took showers together even until we were well in our teens.

So, the human body held no mysteries for us and we never associated anything shameful with nudity - it was something natural.

I was always an active person - did track and field in high school, then self-taught yoga, then kung-fu. I had no problem stripping before others in the changing rooms and could not comprehend their blushes and desperate attempts to hide themselves when they had to do so as well.

My body is not perfect in any way. When I was small, I was ever scarred and scabbed and had a tummy and round cheeks. I was thin to a scary point in my mid-teens (bad time all around, that). Chubby for a year in England. Toneless afterwards. Very toned and sinewy at kung-fu. Currently wiry. I loved it every way. All I ask of my body is to obey my commands. When it doesn't, it's simply time for training...

Human body is fascinating. There has never been a single person I've met that I've not loved at least one body characteristic of his/hers.
I love smelling skin, kissing it and feeling its texture. I love its warmth. In more intimate moments, its taste, its sensitivity.
I adore scars. They show what a body has gone through, testaments to its history. I love how they mar perfection and yet beautify at the same time. I love the difference in the way they feel against my lips or tongue.
Other things that appeal to me: a relaxed hand. A pair of sparkling eyes. A wicked smile. Fingers absently brushing hair away from a face. A clean smell - no heavy perfume, please (gah!!). Veins showing under the skin. Curled toes. Healing scabs. An arched neck. An arched back. Any childish gesture, like puffing cheeks, rubbing eyes with fists etc. A low, melodious voice. A purr. A confident walk. A proud toss of the head...

All in the eyes, by lucbecks in deviantart

Neck, by oldboy1985 in deviantart

Wow wow wow, humans are just so fucking beautiful! And to think that so many of them don't even realize it! I get it, really, I do in a way, but I don't get it, you know?..
Maybe I'm just too pagan for my own good or something, heh!