Will contain anything that catches my fancy, which includes yaoi (aka boys' love). Strong language may be used at various occassions.
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Monday, March 15, 2010

Shape shift

There have always been people in my life that only see what is before their eyes and lack the intelligence, maturity or depth of thought to realise that this is not what they will get.

There are those people who only see the world in black and white and fail to realise that the world has millions on millions of colours. There are those who believe their way is the only way and fail to realise that this sort of thought makes them ridiculous. There are those who are intolerant of what they do not know; in fact, they reject anything that doesn't fit in the little narrow-minded view they have of the world.

There are those who do not even know that man is a complex thing. Those who do not know that a mere facade is what is facing them and that this facade is a true yet very very small part of the person that stands before them. This kind of people take one look at you and think they know you, think they've got you pegged, think you are a two-dimensional being, think they can control you and they can always predict what you'll do.

There are this sort of people who fail to realise that a facade can be worn not for deception, but for keeping affairs civil, for politeness, for diplomacy, for making the world easier for living. These are the people who will think a joker is a fool, a dreamer is a loony, a person who searches is a person lost. These people will think an animal sleeping is an animal dead, will meet the wolf and treat it as a lapdog.

They are welcome to their reality and their beliefs. I would respect them, if their behaviour did not affect me or those dear to me. I am very very patient. I give hundreds of chances, I give hundreds of warnings. But when I snap, I fucking snap.

So, a change is coming. A shift. Some are no longer worthy of my nice persona. If they had convinced themselves that my good behaviour meant that I was a new-born pup, they are in for a bloody nasty surprise.

There. Ranted and will not get an anger headache tonight. How fucking lovely.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Hateful things

My pet (*snuggle snuggle*) urged me - in a very nice way - to write a post, so here it is.

Problem is, these past few days I am a bit tired and moody - bloody weather doesn't help, either; maaaan, I hate cold - so I couldn't think of anything nice to write about. Sloshing around in rainy streets, listening to David Sandstrom on my mp3, I was reminded of one thing I really, really fucking hate: wet socks.

Thus, here they are, in no specific order or level of loathing, the 10 things I currently hate the most.

1. Wet socks
You know the feeling. The street is flooded to knee-level or the shoes are not water-tight and suddenly, your feet are wet. And cold. And squishy - very squishy. And you can't do anything about it, but trudge back home, take off your shoes - with difficulty, wet socks stick - and peel off these soaking, clingy, heavy pieces of cloth and throw them with a splat! somewhere. And your feet are blue with cold, all wrinkly skinned and horrible. Even writing about it makes me upset.

2. Sugar/milk in coffee/tea
My tastebuds die a painful death every time a waiter makes a mistake and adds sugar to my coffee. As if I don't stress it out much: "Black. Plain. Straight. No sugar. No milk. Just add water". No, for some it's still not enough. And then, I get my longed-for cup of joe, take a lustful sip and it's "Aaaack!" *spit spit*

cafe-au-lait pic found in zazzle

3. Cheap cigar smoke in small, poorly ventilated places
I smoke, you smoke, we smoke and aren't we fucking enjoying it. Even in small, poorly ventilated places (apologies dear smokeless, red-and-watery-eyed friend, who puts up with us). And then, someone lights up a cigar... Cough cough cough hack and cough some more.

4. Crowded streets
I have mild claustrophobia. Mild as in "I haven't had a panic attack yet". But I have come really fucking close. One of my biggest triggers is crowds. I loathe crowds. I can't walk as I please (my normal walk is a kind of stridey-bouncey thing), there are people that pop out of nowhere, I'm trying to keep an eye on everyone, going through a million attack/defence scenarios in my mind for each one of them, they stop, start, loiter, lounge, shuffle, window-shop, talk, hum, shout and it drives me nuts.

5. Underground places
Another one of my triggers. I took a loooong time to feel comfortable on the subway. It's underground. No natural light ever. Dark dark places that creep at the edges of the artificial light. Eerie soulless quiet but for man-made noises. Brrrr...

6. Too fast elevators
No, not because of the claustrophobia thing. Because they make me feel that my stomach is pressed right down on my toes initially and then that it's about to pop out of my mouth and hit the ceiling. Can you spell nauseous?

7. Hair in drains/flecks of dried food on dishes
If I stay over somewhere, there is little more off-putting for me than supposedly "clean" dishes, that have not been washed carefully and still carry flecks of dried food, and finding hair in the drains. I don't mind lack of order, but lack of hygiene is a no-no-NO.

drain hair pic found in trompyx

8. Rhythmic, monotonous sounds
I have already covered that in another post, so...

9. Tasteless tomatoes
Tomato sould taste like a tomato and not like a cut-out, red-painted piece of cardboard. I love tomato sauce for spaghetti, I love tomato salad, I love chewing on tomatoes. But if I bite on a flavourless one, my mood is totally spoiled...

10. Fat pillows
Though a pillow is not really a necessity for me, my favourite would be thin and hard, sort of what you'd get if you folded up a hoodie. What I can't stand no matter what, are fat, fluffy pillows. I get a crick on my neck, I get a cramp on my back, I toss and turn constantly, I curse the poor sod who placed it on the bed, until I decide that enough is enough and throw everything down on the floor.

So, this is it! Any pic that doesn't have a reference means it had been saved in my pc long ago and I've forgotten the link - apologies!

I'm trying to remember if I wanted to add anything else, but my brain is still fuzzy with sleep (just woke up. need coffeeee), so if I do remember, I'll write again.

Oh, gotta continue my favourite yaoi mangaka posts too....

Anyway, see ya!

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Blue, green and elven

That is sort of how my mood is these past few weeks or so, despite the fact I caught a cold that was making me cough my lungs out (almost - still breathing, so there must be some left).

My elven mood is the antithesis of my gothic mood. Instead of wearing blacks and lusting after knives, I find myself listening and dancing to reels, waking up with a jump every morning, setting about every task with a smile, looking at the people around me with affection.

And I find myself missing the green. I miss trees. A good, quiet forest, a little trickling stream hidden somewhere in the undergrowth, the sound of wind in the leaves. Recharging.

image from planteco

Soon. Soon soon really soon spring is coming. And then, I'm off! Hurray!

*sings happily and loudly and dissolves into a coughing fit*


(yeah, this elf swears - a lot)

Oh, oh, here's a pic of what my ideal house is like, too!

image from treehugger


Just wanted to share this!

Found these brilliant gothic earrings today at Amazon, of all places! Wow! I'm totally getting one... Or both!

..."Sylvanus" more probably, though, 'cause I'm in an elven mood these past few days, heh!


Dragon's lure