Sympathy for the Devil

----Note: I’ll refer to Lucifer as “him” to avoid confusion, though angels are sexless----

----Note to friends: a lot of things written below don’t apply to you, but to the rest of humanity, okay? Okay? Don’t be mad??----

Puss-in-boots, from Shrek

Okay, here goes: reasons I totally dig Lucifer.

Lucifer, by arktiari at deviantart

1-Both me and him, we got daddy issues. Nothing that can’t be solved by a .44 to dad’s head in my case. In Luce’s, it’s a bit more difficult, poor sod…

Bullet pic from Wikipedia, God pic from rediff.com

2-We are firstborn and were expected to be a shiny beacon of propriety and the heirs of tradition. You know how that one worked out for Luce. It’s exactly the same for me.


3-We got brothers we simply adore, ones that are the beloved of our parents. (Mika and my own brother, take a bow!)

Protector, by feimo at deviantart

4-We are both rebels. Rules and restrictions are there to be smashed under our booted heels, pissed upon and left behind in a steaming heap.

5-We are proud, arrogant, willful, self-reliant pricks.

6-We are quite devious. Good actors. Accomplished liars.

7-Good in listening, recognizing hearts, figuring out weaknesses and exploiting them for our own purposes.

8-Sadistic, cold, cruel when it pleases us. Appearances may be deceptive. A lot.



So, that’s why at this test I got 95% match with Satanism and at this one I turned out, yes, you guessed it, Satan.

Look, speaking as the Dark Overlord that I am, I got no interest in your souls. I can use them for nothing, so you can keep 'em if you want ‘em. I got no interest in human blood or animal blood either, eeeeewwww, people, I’m a vegetarian for fuck’s sake. And I don’t care if you have sex amongst yourselves or not, go ahead if you feel like it. You won’t gain anything from me, but if you want me to watch…can I bring popcorn?

I am a highly accommodating being. Just do as you please. I’ll accept it or kill you for it. And I’ll do so according to my whim. Isn’t that a lot more honest and simple than making up all those rules and commandments?



*Sympathy for the Devil is a fave song from Rolling Stones, watch it here if you wanna*